Alas, I'm still having personal space issues, specifically the ones involving someone using my desk/computer for 2 weeks. I can't stand the fact  that some people just seem to do things a certain way just because they think it should be done that way. I would return to my desk periodically during that 2-week span, usually at the end of the day. I happened to notice that a certain someone had written their notes all over my personal calendar, and without making a big deal of it, I just printed a new, clean copy from Microsoft Outlook. I put it back on a pile of stuff on my desk, and just for kicks I turned it upside down. When I eventually got back to my desk for good, I noticed that that it was turned right-side up again. Upon closer inspection, it seems that this certain someone had taken the liberty of perusing the updated, clean copy of my calendar and actually re-writing her notes that I had intentionally left out because they weren't my notes! I didn't forget to put them in, you retard, I left them out intentionally! Didn't your mama teach you not to touch other people's stuff?! And while you're at it, stop turning off all the lights in the office when you leave at 4:30, you Save the Planet crusader…some of us are still working.

It's funny… you can now find beer "experts" writing about the "joys of beer" in every fashion magazine out there. Janet has a subscription to Elle which never seems to run out, though she never renews the damn thing.

Anyway, this obviously untalented freelancer got assigned the ignominious task of writing another 100 word microbrewed/craft brewed beer story. How can you sum up 750 years of modern brewing to an audience that thinks that Amstel Light is exotic?

Click photo for the full story. (200 k&#41

Ok. If you are going to write a beer article, there is only ONE expert to call on. That man is Michael Jackson (no, not the one-gloved wonder, the most well respected beer ciritc in the world&#41. Essex found this guy named Bruce Aidells. I've never heard of him… the only Aidell that I know of makes sausages, and is not a well published beer critic. I've never seen him mentioned in Celebrator Beer News, the beer monthly for the west… so I don't take anything that he says as the opinion of an "expert".

Point Two: Aidells recommends a "Sam Adams Wheat Brew". No such thing. Does he mean the Sam Adams Summerfest Beer? The White Ale? Which one? This is akin to Elle Magazine (where this article was published&#41 recommending the "Red MAC Lipstick"… not specific enough to be useful to the comsumer reading the article.

Point Three: They consider Sam Adams a "Microbrewed" beer. Nope. Sam Adams falls out of that federal classification. They are now considered a "craft" beer… and hardly that by any serious beer drinker.

Point Four: In the picture, they show Carta Blanca and Sapporo Silver. Neither of these beers even have a hint of character, and are mass produced. Sorry, no microbrews here!

Point Five: We don't need to hear this Guinness and Oysters pairing again. Can we get over the urban myth that Guinness has oyster shells in the mash? Guinness overpowers oysters. I prefer a bitter beer like the Anchor Small Beer with Oysters… but, I know of no restauranteur who would pair oysters with a beer when they could pair them with a Chardonnay or a nice Brut Champagne. I could also recommend Guinness with a bagel with lox and onions…. it's not bad, but adds nothing to the eating/drinking experience.

Point Six: El Bobo. San Francisco. Guinness Chocolate Cake made with Guinness. 'Nuff Said

Point Seven: Fact Check much, idiot? The beer that you referred to as "Polander" is Paulaner, one of the oldest Bavarian Brewers. They've been making beer for longer than the United States has existed. They deserve better than this.

Point Eight: Paulaner Brewery (see point seven&#41 brews a number of beers:

• A light Hefeweisen, with a strong yeast taste
• Salvator, a strong, malty doppelbock
• A pilsner, which is mild and malty, with a strong Saaz hops nose
• A "Munchener Lager" which I have never had before

They make more than those, but it's all I can recall at this time. So, which Paulaner beer are you referring to… hmm??

Final Grade: F. Go back to school, you hack. You and your editor should be canned for this one.

Ok, who in the hell decides to schedule a conference call for 7:00 am? This morning, I had to drag my lazy ass out of bed… all the way to the couch 5 feet away just to take a conference call about a subject that should have been addressed about a year ago. To top it all off, it wasn't one of the typical conference calls where I just have to listen and occasionally spout off some obscure marketing data… this is one of those calls where I had to be alert and responsive. Needless to say, Avery got into the office feeling a bit grouchy and very-very tired. It's now noon, and the only thing that I'm running on is caffeine and my own bile. Time to head out for a sandwich or something.

I would think that by the age of 10 one would remember to wash one's hands when one is done using a public restroom. This said, why is it that people who look at least 21 years of age still can't do it? I've been in our restroom at work on several occasions when a woman (who thankgodfully works for another company on the same floor&#41 will come in, use the toilet, and then leave without so much as rinsing her hands!  Now, I admit that I'm somewhat of a clean freak, but come on, is this gross or what? Like I really want to touch the tainted door handle on my way OUT of the bathroom now. She always practically runs out of there, maybe to escape my looks of disgust. I've always heard that the women's restrooms are much dirtier than the men's…no wonder!