What is a "fall color" and why does it cost so much more than a "summer color?" All I wanted was another inexpensive short sleeve shirt like the grey one I bought last week. After going to three, count 'em, three Express stores, all I could find were shirts that were size small or extra small or extra large, all in repulsive pastel colors. None of my size in basic black, none in athletically-cool navy blue. They did have, though, several hundred larges in grey, the color I already had. I walked though the store and found the exact same shirt on another rack in dark brown. When I went to pay for it, I discovered that it was $20, not $12 like all the others. The salesperson said "this is a fall color. Only the summer colors are $12." Well, I consider black to be, like, the ultimate winter color and it was $12. And I wear brown all the time. Oh, those wacky fashion people, making me pay $8 extra for a "fall" color that I'll wear all 12 months of the year!

Snotty little 15 year old bitches! Arrrgh!
Today, Janet and I decided to go downtown for a Dim Sum lunch and to shop for new glasses (the kind you wear, not the kind you drink out of&#41. As you can read in the MUNI Chronicles, getting back and forth to Downtown San Francisco on a Sunday is nearly impossible… so by the time we were ready to head home (sans new glasses&#41, we just wanted to get on the underground and head over to Safeway, puck up stuff for dinner (we are making chili&#41 and go home to start cooking. So, due to a MUNI screw up (the main computer blew up, or some technician unplugged it or something&#41, we had to get out at Powell Station… ground zero for the tourist zone. So, we're walking up the stairs, trying to get to a Haight Street bus so we can get home, and at the top of the escalators, a group of 13-15 year old pseudo-trendy "grrrrrrls" (the extra rrrrrs are for their don't-give-a-shit-cause-I-don't-have-to-pay-for-anything attitude&#41 have decided to block the exit of the escalator so they can comment about some lame ass party that they weren't invited to blah blah blah or something like that. So, in the process of trying to get out of the aforementioned escalator well, we have to squeeze around her bony little ass so we don't knock her to the ground and step on her mommy's-gold-card-paid-for-two-hundred-dollar-Doc-Martens boots. So, as I walk by, I make eye contact with one of the "grrrrrrrls" and say "Hey, this isn't the best place to stop, you're blocking the escalator." None of my typical swearing, no threatening motions, just a bit of advice from someone who could break her spindly arms in half if he so desired. So, Ms. Riot Grrrrrrrrrrrrl bleats out "Shut the fuck up". Ooh. I'm trembling. Whatever. Go and jump in your mommy's lexus and go back to Marin, you trendy, lame-ass poseur. Janet, rushing to my defense, as my knight in cargo pants yells back "Fuck you". Nice, simple, and the appropriate level of escalation in my opinion. But, trendy chickie grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl decided to make a final retort, "Take the stairs next time, Bitch". Had she been 18 years old, or had she pulled that shit attitude with us in the Lower Haight… with the mood that we were in, we'd probably take it a step further. But we saw a number 6 bus coming and decided just to get the fuck back home. We had better things to do than go to jail for threatening to assault a minor… no matter how much she deserved it. Sheesh. What a day.

Walking outside in the financial district area is sometimes enough to ruin an otherwise ordinarily blase day. Every morning while walking to work, I encounter a plethora of homeless and/or down-and-out type people. Most of them are harmless, but some feel the need to harass you endlessly, each and every day, like the army-green wearing guy who used to stand on the corner in front of the Starbucks and harass the patrons there, or the ones who tell you to "smile", or the ones who feel the need to call you "Princess." During lunch hour, the People Who Hand Out Useless Pieces of Paper take over and INSIST that you take the useless piece of paper. Don't try to escape…they are on every corner and will literally chase you down or try to shove their papers into your hands against your will! Not only is this such a waste of perfectly good paper, it's depressing. These people have got to be at a personal rock bottom. I mean, isn't this one step below grocery baggers? Well, whoever you're trying to avoid the next time you visit our fair city, don't be scared of the cockroaches lying upside down on the sidewalk — they're already dead!