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Online Banking Lends Insight Into My Life

Wavy lines? That can only mean one thing… FLASHBACK TIME!. Before starting work at my current job, I spent 2 years designing Voice Routing Applications. You know what I mean, you call an 800 number and you get "Welcome to Mary's Whorehouse and Day Care center. For the day care, press 1… for the whorehouse, press 2."… you get the idea. Anyway, that's how I spent my first few years in the corporate world. Why am I telling you all of this? Wait… that's coming.
So, as you can guess, whenever I have to call one of those damned systems, I am very critical of how it feels to the average caller.
Some local systems are really easy to use. The Glendale Federal bank system is very well designed: it is fast, the options are clear, and it provides an easy way to get to an operator by pressing zero. Some are marginal, like 777-FILM. 777-FILM has some advertisements, and the system is a little slow, but you have opportunities to back out of each transaction. Hell, it's a free call, so who really cares if it takes an extra 15 seconds to make it through the advertisement for Bambi does Dumbo or whatever drek is passing for a movie these days.
This afternoon, I had to transfer some money between my accounts at Bank of America, since they didn't attach our savings account to the PC banking system. Strike number one, BofA.
This means that I have to use the dreaded 615-4700 Bank of America Phone Transfer system. Now, to get to the "Free" Bank of America tele-checking system, I have to dial a 650 number, which is now a long-distance call from San Francisco. Strike number two, BofA.
So, while navigating through the BofA system, it forces me to listen to an advertisement regarding refinancing my mortgage BEFORE I CAN TRANSFER FUNDS! So, I have to pay an extra 01/2 minute's worth of long-distance charges in order to access a system that saves the bank money. On top of that, I don't own a house, don't plan on buying a house in San Francisco… which makes it quite impossible to re-finance my existing non-existent mortgage. Strike number three, BofA.
Is it not enough that I have to pay to see a live teller? It's not enough that I have to pay to speak with a live operator on that damn 615-4700 number? Now I have to pay to listen to an advertisement so I can keep from bouncing a check (which would cost me even more money&#41!
I think it's time for us to find another bank.
[Note: Avery has never worked on the applications for Bank of America's Home Banking, Glendale Federal Bank or 777-FILM. Avery has, however, been secretly writing the new script for Bambi does Dumbo.]

Posted in Scowls.

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