Skip to content


Atlantans

It’s been a while since I’ve brought a large group of co-workers to the Toronado. However, a pair of beer-drinking vendors from Atlanta were in town, and far be it from me to let them go home with having some good California beers…

So at 4:30, a whole cadre of us made it to the Toronado. In attendance was Carlos, Christie and Molly from the office and the two vendors. Janet arrived about an hour later and Rochelle (another co-worker) and her beau made it a little after seven. Oh yeah, Albert, who had been promising to come to the Toronado for the last three years or so made it to the bar somewhere between seven and eight too…

Most of the time when I bring people out to the Toronado, one or two people end up not being beer drinkers and spend the whole time half-assedly sipping at their beers… not really liking what they (or anyone else at the table, for that matter) were drinking. But last night, everyone was a beer drinker.

Carlos made sure that the Atlantans sampled a Prohibition Ale, from our favorite brewery: Speakeasy… but there were so many new beers since my last visit that I felt compelled to have something new. Before the night was over, I would go through two pints of Lagunitas Brewery’s Hairy Eyeball, a highly hopped amber ale, a glass of De Koninck and a glass of Boont Amber. Janet stuck with a couple Imperial Pints full of Guinness. The others consumed glasses of Hoegaarden, Prohibition, Maximus, Lindeman’s Framboise and they also grabbed bottles of Chimay Grande Reserve and Cantillon Brouscella.

Everybody seemed to really like the beers, and the beer novices tended to gravitate towards Carlos or me in order to get some tips on what might be a good choice based on their tastes and drinking habits. It’s hard to recommend a beer to someone I don’t know well. It isn’t that I feel like I made a bad selection for someone if they end up not liking the beer I recommended. My problem is that some people tend to get a little snotty when you try to provide that assistance that they requested of you. I dunno… it’s just a risk you take when trying to help out people you don’t know well.

Looking back on Friday night, I think that the highlight was having time to talk to Molly. Molly was my fullback on the soccer team, the only person who can drink Guinness as fast as I can and the one of the only people close to my age at the office. Sigh. I need to make an effort to spend more time with my friends.

The group of us stayed there until almost 9pm… when the group left for dinner at Thep Phanom. Well, almost the whole group left for Thai food… Janet, Molly and I decided to stay at the bar for a while longer before leaving to get grinders at King Foot.

All in all, a great night at the bar.

Posted in The Barfly Chronicles.


Animations

Scowl’s Animated Gif Gallery
of Poor Taste.

Why, you might ask, did we decide
to do this? The answer: Who the hell knows.

Enjoy.


Jan 28, 1999


Feb 5, 1999

Posted in Animated Chronicles.


Nobody

Topic #25
Nobody here but us chickens…

There was a period in my life a few years ago when I hated the computer. Hated it. It was around the time that everyone was making a big deal about how great computer animation was, and in an artistic act of stubborn opposition, I resisted the computer as much as I could, arguing about art and pencils and using your hands and what a travesty it would be that nothing would be truly creative anymore because computers could render everything perfect, and wasn't it the subtle imperfections that made the great works of art so… great?

That was right after college, when I was belligerent about nearly everything. I called anyone who so much as touched a computer a geek (or a nerd or a loser&#41…until a couple of years later, when I stumbled upon The Internet. After spending hours upon hours linking from one site to another, I became formally addicted, and finally accepted the computer as a friend, not a foe. I wanted a website. I wanted to be a geek.

So I started reading the first chapter of the O'Reilly HTML book, and slaved over my sad, little Tripod Member Page which was blue and yellow and turquoise and said a whole lot of nothing, but was all coded lovingly by hand, god dammit! At the time, Avery also had a personal web page on Tripod, and one after one particularly trying day in San Francisco, we decided to pool our efforts while at the same time venting our stresses, and do one webpage called Scowl. 

We didn't really have a format in mind when we created Scowl; as a matter of fact, the whole "online journal" phenomenon was unknown to us until someone pointed out that our site could be considered as such due to the dated entries. Since we started Scowl 8 or so months ago, the whole online journal community has grown by leaps and bounds; some of them great, others just pre-teen unicorns and rainbows, but an awful lot of them containing entries about the interesting e-mail that their readers sent them. "Hmph" has always been my attitude on that subject, as we have only received a few e-mails from the readers of our site.

When we started publishing Scowl, we weren't expecting critical acclaim or anything, but we thought that for sure we would be able to bond over shared annoyances with at least a few people. We think it's an entertaining step above a stagnant dime-a-dozen personal page, and cheaper than making copies of what would be a traditional hard-copy zine at Kinko's.

The web-publishing equivalent of the "If a tree falls in the forest" question would have to be "Do you do it for You or do you do it for Them [the readers]?" There are a lot of people who maintain that the only reason that they have a journal on the web is for themselves, which I think is a big, fat lie: why publish it if it's only for you? Why not password-protect it, then, or write in Note Pad or write IN a note pad? If it's in public, you want someone to see it, plain and simple, and  we're no different. 

When Avery came up with the new Topic of the Week idea of inviting people to submit topics or questions for us to write about (there's only so many topics you can come up with before you just start to run dry!&#41, I anticipated us getting zero response. Why should anyone write to us now, when they never have before? And really, when you think about it, why should we expect anyone to? The web medium itself is the epitome of the "I want it now," short-attention-span, useless-information-laden society that we've turned into…who has the time or the energy in 1999 to tell us what to write about?      

Well, OK. We understand. Just remember…no complainin'. (And would it hurt you to pick up a pen once in a while to let us know how you–sorry. Never mind.&#41

Hello… I know you're out there. I can hear you breathing, damnit!

When we started up Scowl, Nu?, I thought that it would be something more than just a journal or an e-zine. I thought it would be the beginning of an online community where like minded barflies and curmudgeons would come to vent and bitch and moan…

… and according to the server logs, we get a good amount of hits. What's more surprising, most of the hits are from return visitors. By the looks of it, at least thirty of you come over to visit at least once a week, and about ten of you come at least once every other day.

Still, I wouldn't know that by the minimal interaction that we ever have with yinz (which is Pennsylvanian for the collective plural tense of y'all&#41. The message boards go relatively untouched… and aside from two or three people that we exchange emails with regularly… we have no idea of who is visiting the site. That's why when we changed the Topic of the Week to a format where we could have some interaction with our regular (and brand spanking new&#41 readers, we hoped to get some responses.

It's not Thursday night and not a single question has been lobbed our way.

Don't get me wrong… I'm not whining here, nor am I planning on closing up shop and heading out to join a militia in Montana. In all reality, I write because I enjoy writing… and I know some people (including family members and friends&#41 read the site in order to keep up with what's going on in my life. On top of that, if I didn't write, I'd have probably seriously crippled a few yuppies by now.

Hmm… maybe I should consider a smack-a-yuppie filled hiatus.

Maybe it's a little spoiled to consider the web to be any different from a traditional publishing media. I mean, is the web that much different from a magazine or a book? Hell, I read five or six magazines a month and I've never written a letter to the editor… so why should I expect to hear from the teeming hordes reading the site?

Perhaps it's because the web is supposed to the new interactive media… something bigger and better than the mainstream publishing media out there. The whole conception of the web was to create academic discourse… now it has just become another commercial medium for companies to hock their wares.

Or maybe it's because in my heart, I look at some of these sites that get hundreds of emails a week and know that Scowl is much better most of the drek out there. I mean, our graphics aren't the best and the layout is in need of a serious revamping… and yes, we should update more often. But I think what we have is pretty damn good… and obviously at least fifty of you do as well.

So the question and answer period is over, kids. Put your pencils down and pass the exams to the front of the row, because from now on… you'll take what we give ya!

 

 

… and somewhere in the dark recesses of your soul… you know you like it better that way.

Posted in Topics of the Week (1990s).


Archived Observation

One of the perks of my job is that I get to travel about once every other month. You see, as a product manager, I am responsible for training people on how to use my product and also going to see the occasional large customer for a design meeting or to support a large sale.

Unfortunately, my travels usually end up taking me to such exotic locales as McLean, VA or Sioux City, IA… or even better… Cleveland. As much as I make fun of these places, I always end up having a good time when I travel. No matter where I go, I can usually find a bar to go to, or one of the locals takes me out to see the sights. Regardless of where I end up, I always come back with a few good stories to tell.

Wednesday night, I got back from a four day trip to Jackson, MS where I conducted a two day "train the trainer" session. The concept is that you take 100 sales trainers from all around the country… bring them to Jackson and put them up in a hotel and for 10-12 hours a day for eight days (including a Saturday) you re-train them on every product we sell. For me, that meant conducting two 1-hour sessions on Monday and Tuesday.

All in all, the trip wasn't bad at all. It was nice meeting people that I've only spoken to on the phone, and a good friend from Atlanta was there to do training as well, so there was at least one person there that I knew staying in the hotel (actually, in the next room over from mine).

The hotel had typical southern service. Translated for all of y'all yankees, that means sloooooow. Check in took over a half of an hour (part of that was due to the Marius Company of Les Miserables throwing a late-night party that got the staff in a tizzy)… which is barely acceptable at primetime, but was outrageous at 11:15pm. Needless to say, when I got to the room, I was very unhappy to find out that the room service closed while I was waiting in line to check in! Luckily, Forest at Speakeasy Brewery gave me a couple of bottles of Prohibition Ale to take with me in case of an emergency.

Still, the little fuck-ups aside, the hotel was as good as any $50-$70 hotel that I use for business travel. The bar had a fresh keg of Guinness, and my co-workers were a good bunch of barflies, not only closing the place down on Tuesday night, but also helping out serving drinks and assisting the bartenders with the closing routine (cleaning glasses, etc…). We're a good bunch of people, all in all.

Still there's something more sobering about Mississippi than its drinking laws (I was told that one of the counties adjacent to Jackson was a dry county) was the first thing that I saw when I got into Downtown Jackson: The Confederate Monument.

Sorry…to me, that's almost as tasteless as a monument to Nazi Germany.

But in retrospect, four days in Jackson was fine. I made friends with some local co-workers and they even took me to a good local bar that had Anchor Brewing's Liberty Ale, one of my favorite beers. Still, I always felt that if anyone saw my piercings, tattoos or Star of David pendant, that I would have probably been in a whole mess o' trouble.

Posted in Observations.


Sexist Sony?

On a similar note, you may have noticed the most excellent animated Playstation gif on the front page. This was inspired by yet another disgusting anti-girl-gamer Playstation ad that I saw plastered across the side of a bus, large as life, which said something to the effect of "Bridge the gap between you and your son." I'm offended, not so much because I'm a woman, but because I own a Playstation! Anyway, Hello, Playstation ad people! There's a whole untapped female audience out here! Duh.

Posted in Scowls.


The New Teen Movies

Like we really need another movie like "She's All That" corrupting the minds of awkward teenage girls everywhere. Wasn't it bad enough that the Ally Sheedy character in "The Breakfast Club" basically gave up her entire strange-and-cool personality at the insistence of Molly Ringwald, of all people? If there was any character in a movie that I modeled myself after during my mid-teenage years, it was the Ally Sheedy Breakfast Club character, and I must admit that the ending confused me a little back then. Though I tried and tried to figure out the whole point of that scene, I never could, so I just tried my best to ignore it (though questions were still skulking around the back of my mind.&#41 Why would she even want to go out with stupid Emilio Estevez all of a sudden? Why would she sacrifice her self to do it? Who says girls need to walk around all smiling and giggling with their hair pulled back?

"She's All That" is the story of a popular high school guy who makes a bet that he can take a geeky girl and make her into a beautiful prom queen. Strike One: the portrayal of girls as dolls: Contrary to the screenwriter's popular belief, girls do not all sit around mute and puppy-dog eyed, waiting for the day that a cool, popular guy (or any guy, for that matter&#41 will waltz in and help us realize our beauty potential by convincing us that short skirts, expensive haircuts and contact lenses are The Only Way To Go. Strike Two: the portrayal of males as controlling and/or manipulative assholes: The probable fact is that even though he really, really likes her and she turns him on in a big way when she's pretty-in-his-opinion, he would never, ever even want to walk down the same street with her the way she used to look/act. Strike Three: the portrayal of women as their spineless counterparts who don't mind being controlled and/or manipulated, no, not at all: Now, I haven't seen this movie, nor will I, so this is an educated guess: she very probably stays with her new and "improved" pretty, popular self instead of putting her glasses back on and being the geek that she is after telling that popular guy to go fuck himself, because this is every girl's dream come true, don't ya know! You can't have girls walking around looking smart or unique or anything! We all dream of blonde ponytails, contact lenses and makeup perfectly applied!

Look, nobody wants to be an unpopular outcast, but at what price popularity? Why should a girl who isn't a clone of the rich and popular mannequins have to feel that they somehow should be? Why should she be put in the position of feeling that she won't be a Good Person until she Looks Like This? Critics say this movie is simply a modern day version of "Pygmalion", in which a Victorian dialect expert bets that he can teach a lower-class girl to speak proper English and thus be taken for a lady. Whatever. To me it's the same crap, different era. You make the call.

Posted in Scowls.