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Archived Smirk

Riding the underground into work usually involves some sort of major hassle. Enough of a hassle that we created a whole section devoted to San Francisco's nightmare Rapid Transit system: Muni. This morning, however, nothing bad happened to me. However (and you knew that there would have to be a however&#41, the poor chap trying to get on behind me is going to have a really bad day.
You see, the underground was packed this morning, so I got in, and there was enough room for me to stand. All the other people on the boarding island realized this, and since another train was coming out of the tunnel (about 3 blocks away&#41, everyone else decided to wait for the next streetcar. Smart people. Suddenly, I feel this thing slam into me… it was a yuppie, in a very expensive looking grey suit, squeezing in.
So, the bus starts moving, I re-situate myself so I can get a little extra room and all seems fine. The Yuppie has now put down his expensive Coach (I checked&#41 leather briefcase and is straightening out the wrinkles in his jacket by just rubbing the wrinkle over and over and over. Whatever.
The steps on the MUNI Streetcars are hydraulic… so when you're underground, they turn into a ledge, and when you're above ground, they turn into steps. Once you hit the underground tunnel, a piercing beeeeeeeeeep signals that the steps are about to move. Most people use this as a signal to temporarily move off of the steps. Mr Yuppie just stayed there, brushing his jacket. So, the steps move up and we hit the first stop and a lot of people get off the streetcar, which opens up some breathing room and everyone starts milling around, trying to get more comfortable. Mr Yuppie starts to move to an open seat when suddenly he realises that he's stuck to the door. Heh. What had happened is that when the stairs were moving up, his trouser leg got caught in the hydraulic piston that controlled the stairs. So, Mr Yuppie starts to panic. He's twisting and turning, and the piston will just not budge. Everyone on the bus is staring and chuckling. Finally he asks someone, "Well, what the hell should I do?" The response was perfect "Well, if you stay on the streetcar, it will eventually loop back above ground (at the stop he got on initially&#41 and the stairs will go down and you can pull your pant leg out… it'll only take an hour or so."
When I got out at Embarcadero Station, Mr. Yuppie was still standing there. Trapped like the rat that he was. I know it's an evil little smirk, but it gave all of us commuters on the N-Line this morning a good chuckle.

Posted in Smirks.

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