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Deodorant

The other day I had yet another jam-packed, no-as-a-matter-of-fact-this-ISN’T-a-clown-car experience on MUNI. People were literally pressed up against one another, all trying to get home from downtown and, as usual, the people waiting at every stop along the way assumed that they would all somehow be able to fit into the 2 square feet of available space. One of the people who got on happened to be the type who absolutely has to ride in the back of the bus at any cost. I’m not talking about the shifty-eyed suspicious-looking type, either; just regular semi-yuppie looking people who bypass all the seats in the front of the bus just to be able to obsessively get to the back, which, I might add, is my least favorite section of the bus because either you have to sit sideways, facing the people across from you, or be trapped on the end of that 6-person back row seat with god knows who else.

Anyway, even though the aisle is full of people standing back to back, this person insists on squeezing through each and every pair of back-to-back-people in order to get to the rear of the bus, which you couldn’t even see at this point. He gets to me and whoever’s back was pressed up against mine and does that little excuse-me point, motioning that he wants to get through. So I move the whole available inch, and he tries to squeeze behind us, all the while wearing a backpack so full that it looks like it should belong to some junior high school nerd, all bursting at the seams with textbooks and Trapper Keepers and whatnot, which makes me even madder because if everyone on the bus with a backpack took them off their shoulders there would probably be a whole lot more room.

So, he’s trying to squeeze and of course it’s not working, as there is literally no space whatsoever to move into. He gets stuck between me and whoever was behind me, and in his obvious frustration turns around, looks at me and says all haughty-like “You don’t have to push.” Umm, OK, Mr. Nothin’s Gonna Stop Me Now…I was so shocked at the inanity of that statement that I couldn’t even manage to blurt out any of the 50 witty things I could have said, which is OK, because I didn’t think of them until 10 minutes later, anyway.

Oh. Note to people who neglect to wear deodorant because that they think that they “don’t need to:” Believe me, you need to.

Posted in Muni Chronicles.


Archived Smirk

Me, upon coming home from work every night: Must play games on the Playstation…must beat high score in Devil Dice…must ignore the pain developing in my wrists…
Yes, Devil Dice is more addictive than Tetris, and yes, Metal Gear: Solid every bit as good as the gaming magazines predicted it would be. Sony Playstation, you're my video game platform Dream Come True! [Insert pictures of hearts here.]

Posted in Smirks.


Parties and Poison

We ended up going to bed extra late last night…around 5 AM or so. As soon as we got home I began to feel sick. I thought that maybe it was something I drank, or that my body was pissed at me going to bed so late. I woke up feeling the same way, and 10 hours later, even though I feel considerably better than earlier this morning, I still feel kind of blech. Since it lasted for a full 24 hours, I'm now pretty sure that it was probably food poisoning. Last night was Avery's work party, held at the Miyako Hotel in Japantown. I remember tasting the butter and asking "Hmmm, is this herb butter?" because it had a weird un-butter-like taste, but not in a bad way. It was either that or the creme brulee, which also had a weird taste that I thought was rum or some other kind of alcohol, but now I'm thinking that maybe it was just plain bad. I feel fairly sure that it was some type of bad food because this is my 3rd or so bout with food poisoning in the last 9 months. I'll be the first to admit that I have a fragile system, but all of this bad food is getting pretty scary. It's not just the holes-in-the-wall, either…I've gotten sick after eating in 3- and 4-star restaurants. It's enough to make you want to go macrobiotic!

Posted in Scowls.


Delivery Debacle

Nothing is worse than when they screw up your delivery order. Janet wasn't feeling well today, so when I asked her what she was in the mood for tonight for dinner, she said toasted cheese sandwich and a chocolate shake. So, I called up Sparky's Diner and put together a delivery order. 40 minutes later when it arrived, I paid the delivery guy and brought the bags of food in and started to put everything on plates. It was then that I discovered that the shakes were nowhere to be found. So two phone calls to Sparky's later, the shakes arrived.
I don't understand why it is so hard to double check the order before taking it upstairs… and I really don't understand why when a restaurant screws up, that it takes twenty minutes to make it right. Sigh.

Posted in Scowls.


Post Party Beer Needed

Friday, 10/23 – After Work

For most of the week, Janet and I were talking about going to Schroeder’s, a German bar and restaurant near my office for a couple of beers after work on Friday. Schroeder’s is a 108 year old restaurant which has about 15 taps, most of them pouring German beers, with a few domestic beers thrown in for good measure.

What was originally intended to be a quick beer for the two of us turned into a small gathering, with Lea, Carlos and Rachelle from my office coming along as well. I started off with a Spaten Optimator Doppel Bock, and then moved on to the Spaten Oktoberfest. Janet had the same, but she only had a quarter-liter of the Oktoberfest.

The conversation was lively, and we all enjoyed ourselves… but if we all get together for an end-of-the-week beer again, it won’t be at Schroeder’s. You see, even though the physical bar is beautiful, the beer was stale and the beer lines were not very clean… which made for an un-enjoyable beer drinking experience.

Friday, 10/23 – After dinner

When we got back from dinner at Orale! Orale! a great Mexican restaurant in the Financial District… there was a message on the answering machine. It was Toshi, and he wanted to know if we wanted to know what we were planning for the night. You see, Toshi and his Significant Other, Trish were at the Indian Oven having dinner, which is a block away from our apartment, and a half block away from the Toronado. One quick call to his cell phone and we were on our way to the Toronado for a beer.

When we got there, we were met by Ian and Johnny (the bartenders) who served us up our first round. Janet had a Framboise and I had a Speakeasy Untouchable, a new beer from Speakeasy Brewery in San Francisco. The Untouchable was a nice, strong, malty beer with a nice kick to it. Toshi and Trish both had Framboises as well. During the hour that we spent there, I had a Full Sail Black Pilsner, a new mildly hoppy Schwartzenbier, as did Toshi… and Trish finished off the night with a

Hoegaarden White beer.

Friday, 10/24

The night started off at my office party, home of the five dollar Sapporo beer. Needless to say, we only had one beer each before retiring to the Toronado. We made it there at about 10:30pm, and surprise, surprise! Our favorite bartending team was working the night shift: Ian and Robert. Robert and Ian nights are usually amazingly fun, and last night was no exception. First: the beer rundown… Avery had another one of those Speakeasy Untouchables, a Full Sail Black Pilsner, a Petaluma Strong Ale and a Lagunitas Maximus. Janet had a pint of the Spaten Oktoberfest and two pints of Guinness. It was an evening of mourning, as the last pint of Spaten Oktoberfest has been poured at the Toronado until next year. Sniff.

Anyway, the night started out slowly. We spent the first hour or so dealing with a semi-drunk and extremely talkative bar-mate who was complaining about Yuppie Invasion of the Lower Haight. He had some good points, but it was hard to take him seriously due to his drifting off into X Files-ish delusions of conspiracies.

At 11ish, Molly showed up with her companion for the night. Her companion was our old soccer team captain which I hadn’t seen for about two years. I had invited the two of them to come out to the Toronado after the office party… and it was a nice surprise when they actually showed up.

They stayed until 12:30ish before leaving for the East Bay. Last call hit, and the night ended promptly at 2pm… or did it…

Posted in The Barfly Chronicles.


Geek Trouble

Last night, we scanned in some pictures of our tattoos and loaded them up on the Meet the Writers page… and all was good. However, me being the geek that I am… I decided that it would be much nicer if we added some Javascript controls on the picture page. So, I went through and loaded up some code and checked it on my system at the office. It worked. Yay. So, I go to load it to the server. I test it.. it fails. Damn damn damn damn damn.

So, the first step is to go and view the code after it was loaded by the browser (Microsoft Internet Explorer 4.01&#41… it's corrupted. Ok, simple answer, send a fresh copy of the code over to the server. So I loaded it up and then checked again. It still didn't work. Damn.

So, I telnet in using Microsoft Telnet and check the code with PICO (a text editor&#41. The code is still corrupted. Hmm… so I manually type in the correct code on the server and save it. Just for shits and grins, I go back into PICO to make sure that the code is OK. The code is corrupted again. Again, Damn.

Ok, this means that it has to be a server problem, I call the ISP and have them check the server… it's fine. I have a senior technician log in and look at my code. He says everything is fine. Shut door, scream DAMN loudly, then open door again.

Restart my computer, and check with Netscape… the page works perfectly. Ok, this is encouraging… I check it with Microsoft Internet Explorer and it fails. I go and telnet in… the code is corrupted. Shut door, pound desk, scream God Damnit a few more times.

Next step: email a friend who is professional Javascript programmer and see if she had ever seen something like this before. I essentially got the following response: Boy, that's pretty fucked up. I decide that I need to get some caffeine before I explode. On the way out, I load the page up on the receptionist's computer. It works. Perfectly. The programmer was right… this is pretty fucked up.

I decide that Caffeine isn't the best choice in my current mindset… so I get a bottle of water. When I return, I sit down and stare at the monitor, when suddenly it hits me. The problem isn't the code… it isn't the server… and it doesn't affect Netscape. However, it did go screwy every time I looked at it in Internet Explorer or Telnet. What do these two programs have in common? Microsoft.

So, I check the machine, re-load the TCP/IP protocol and Winsock.dll (and reload Internet Explorer as well, just for good measure&#41 and visit the site. It loads. Perfectly.

What an aggravating way to spend the morning.

Posted in Scowls.