Barely passable pizza from a San Francisco icon

Review of: Pizzeria Delfina

By: Avery Glasser

Rating: 2

Read review on Judy’s Book.

I have three words for Pizzeria Delfina: overrated, overrated and overrated.

I’ve got serious passion for the pie, so when I first heard that Delfina was opening up a small pizzeria next door, I made a point to visit. The first visit was in September, 2005.

When you get there, the first thing you notice is that there isn’t much “there” there – with small, cramped seating for maybe 18 people inside and 8 outside, it’s a challenge to get seated, though the briskness of the service does mean that even a long line moves pretty fast… that is, if they’re not making 25 pizzas for take out orders and making everyone inside wait as a result. This night, with 4 tables ahead of us, it took a half hour.

On that first visit, my wife and I ordered two pies. Pulling my notes from my journal, I said about that night –

The presentation was fantastic, as was their choice to provide a small plate of dried oregano, hot pepper flakes and shredded Parmasan cheese. The sauce tasted of fresh tomatos – simultaneously sweet and acidic. The cheese was excellent, and the flavor of the crust – lightly salted to bring out the flavor – was the best I have had in years. The sausage, peppers and red onions on the Salsiccia pizza? Perfect.

However, there were issues. Surprisingly, service was not one of them – we had a stream of constant but non-intrusive queries from the waitstaff about the food, informing us that the kitchen was a little backed up if we wanted to have an appetizer first, offering desserts and beverages. The crust was, however the weakness. Seriously. Making a paper-thin crust is an art that requires an almost exacting knowledge of the dough and the oven, and in this case there was no such mastery. The result was that the sauce weakened the pizza at the center, giving it the dreaded “drooping point”. On the margarita pizza, this was just a mild annoyance, but with the weight of the sausage, I needed to support the crust with my knife to get it from the pizza pan to the plate. Get an inch in and it was fine, but the pizzaolios need to either crank up the heat (to give a harder crust at the center), adjust their stretching to give the center a little more dough, drop the amount of sauce in dead center or something. The crust flavor was amazing, so I would not change the recipe, but there is certainly room for some improvement.

So, even back then, there were some kinks. This was exacerbated on my second visit, this time with three other pizza fans, and over the night, we ordered 6 pies (and yes, we did take lots home). The service took a major turn for the worse, and the waitress actually audibly sighed when we decided to order another round of both pizzas and beer. I guess we had overstayed our 30 minute welcome. The majority of the pies suffered not just from point droopage, but the centers actually dissolved. That’s right, the crust put up a valiant fight but surrendered to the sauce and essentially disappeared all together.

Other people who have been there recently confirmed that this is still a regular problem.

Pizzeria Delfina needs to get back to the basics – cancel the take out for a while and let the staff figure out how to replicate the crusts of A16 or Pazzia. Once the restaurant service is fixed, then sensibly restart the takeout business. Trust me, anyone who picked up a slice of pizza to have the point fall off along with the majority of the toppings will thank you.

Mediocre meals at hipster prices

Review of: Oola Restaurant & Bar

By: Avery Glasser

Rating: 1

Read review on Judy’s Book.

After seeing the glowing reviews from some reviewers I really have come to respect, I had to ask myself why Oola never made its way onto my culinary radar.

Now I know why… it’s because Oola is THE RESTAURANT THAT FLAVOR FORGOT (cue ominous music).

I mean, Oola didn’t really do anything wrong – except for that horrible slaw. I mean, what the hell were they thinking and how the hell can you screw slaw up that bad? It’s just shredded carrots in a light salad cream! People who’ve never made a slaw in their life could make a better slaw than this. I’m no fan of slaw, but come on. Really.

Anyway, as I was saying, aside from the slaw, they didn’t do anything really wrong, but that isn’t to say that they did anything right in the kitchen. Take, for example, the Caesar Salad. This salad had such potential because they not only used anchovies in the dressing, but also included two fillets. However, the white anchovies lent little flavor to the dish, and even less salt. The chef was heavy handed with the dressing, which was close to being good, but tasted more like an aioli than a true Caesar dressing. With some of the dressing scraped off and a healthy hit of salt, the flavor improved significantly.

That’s when I realized that the chef was just too scared of his diners – choosing to underseason and dramatically undersalt everything. In an attempt to make something that would appeal to everybody, they end up making something totally lackluster and ultimately forgettable.

This, in itself, confused me when I finally bit into one of the ribs that everybody seemed raved about. Even the people at the table next to us were waxing philosophic about the “best ribs they ever had”… so again, I had high hopes. However, the ribs just weren’t interesting. I’ve made better Asian-style ribs, as have friends of mine. Technically, the Oola ribs were perfect – tender to the point that the meat just falls off of the bone, with a nice caramelization of the sauce. However, the flavor just wasn’t there. Adding some salt, pepper and chili while easing up on the honey and hoisin would have helped. Not being afraid to make something bold would have helped more. Even the sauteed spinach – technically perfect, was bland and underseasoned. Salt and pepper helped after the fact, but you can’t correct this dramatic of an underseasoning job once the food has left the pan.

For $50 a head, I expect much better. I don’t want my lemonade to be warm in the glass when served – take out the bar spoon and give it a stir with the ice in the glass before bringing it to the table.

Honestly, I’d rather have had a bad meal than something just so disappointingly unforgettable.

I’m in a cooking state of mind…

Review of: Sur La Table

By: Avery Glasser

Rating: 4

Read review on Judy’s Book.

Whenever I need some esoteric cooking implement, I always head over to Sur La Table, and rarely, if ever, am I disappointed. German bag-clips for sealing cereal bags? Yep – and in three sizes. Japanese Slicky for grinding sesame seeds? Check. New England crocks for storing all of my utensils? Check (ordered and held for me for a month when I was still living in Germany and waiting for a business trip to bring me back to the states to pick it up).

The only problem is that every time I go there, I end up getting something – a citrus press here, a silicone basting brush there. The only point off is because of their house-brand All Clad knockoffs. I picked up an 8 inch stainless steel frying pan, and the weight balance is so off, that if you don’t put it JUST RIGHT on the gas burners of my stove without anything in it, it flips over – not something I want with a red hot pan.

Roast Beef with a side of crack

Review of: Quiznos Sub

By: Avery Glasser

Rating: 3

Read review on Judy’s Book.

I never thought I would give a chain sandwich shop a review, let alone a positive one, but since discovering the Prime Rib sub, I’m there three times a month for lunch.

Why do I love the sandwich so? I think the secret ingredient is crack. Prime rib, sauteed onions, melted cheese and crack. Why else would I finish my regular sized sub and while sitting at my desk in a food coma be wishing that I ordered a large? I’m addicted to this sandwich, and the King Street Quiznos is my pusher.

Yeah, the Cabo chicken sandwich with sliced chicken and avocado is good, and the Italian sub is nice when you’re craving a hint of cappicola. But forget about these sandwiches and make your way to the Prime Rib, and if you’re there with a vegetarian, order two to make up for the one he or she won’t be having.

The minute this sandwich goes off the menu, Quiznos goes back down to two stars – so if you value your four stars, DON’T GET RID OF THIS SANDWICH!

Beer at my home away from home

Review of: Toronado

By: Avery Glasser

Rating: 4

Read review on Judy’s Book.

I have a long history with the Toronado. For the final years of the last millenium, my wife and I chronicled our evenings there on our online journal (yes, this was pre-blogging), and there was lots to blog about. We talked about the bartenders, the regulars and the invaders from the Marina who looked utterly confused when the folks behind the bar said “No, you can’t have a gin and tonic” followed quickly by “No, you can’t have an Amstel Light” and finally by “No, you can’t pay by credit card”. The Lower Haight was going through a fight for its very soul – battling against SUVs, gentrification, yuppie encroachment and the chain stores and shops that wanted to replace local establishments… and the Toronado was the point where the battle would be won or lost.

That was the late 1990s, and now in 2006, things haven’t changed that much. During the days and weekday nights, it’s full of regular Lower Haight denizens – and on Friday and Saturday nights, it’s a battle between locals and folks from different neighborhoods (and tax brackets). Pauly, Johnny and Kirsten are still behind the bar, and Tad is still the best bouncer in the city – I mean, how many people can come up with a trivia question like “Name the three characters from MASH that were there since the first episode” on the fly? (The one that everyone misses is Nurse Kelley… she’s the key to the whole series! – I think I won a beer for getting that).

So many of my life changing events – from birthdays to our going away party when we moved to Connecticut in 1999 were held at the Toronado, and while I lived just 2 blocks away in a tiny studio apartment with my wife and two cats, the Toronado was like my living room – where I went to relax and to entertain. During the big power outage when the state was plunged into darkness, the Toronado served the neighborhood beverages while Rosamunde turned on their big gas grill and served up sausages for the locals. Up until 1999, the Toronado was home.

The bar hasn’t changed at all since then. The banner from the bar’s first serving of Aventinus on tap is still there, and aside from the growing rack of empty 3 liter Duvel bottles on the wall, the bar is exactly the same.

The problem is that even though the Toronado hasn’t changed in the past decade, I have.

I still love the beer – 46 well selected taps (though I wish they would rotate some of the taps more often – I love De Koninck, but there are other beers that should occasionally take that slot) and a bottle list that is beyond compare in this city and possibly in the country. I’ve gone there with judges from the Great American Beer Festival and been able to stump them with flavors they couldn’t attribute to a specific beer style, let alone a brewery. I love the fact that Dave leased the space to an ex-Bartender to start Rosamunde. The festivals (Barleywine, Strong Beer, Belgian Beer, Oktoberfest, Fresh Hop and many more) are always amazing – the barleywine festival becoming one of the seminal barleywine events worldwide.

But as I get older, the music starts to quickly get too loud – and even though I used to be there two or three times a week in the late 90s, now that I am no longer a regular, sometimes I feel like a stranger. Certain new bartenders throw more attitude than necessary, giving non-regulars the stinkeye before reluctantly taking an order – which is a shame for a beer bar that beer lovers make pilgrimages to from all over the world. I’m not saying that you need to be nice, but you need to be respectful of your customers up until they make assholes of themselves.

Yeah, I don’t wear t-shirts and ripped jeans any more and I live in a SOMA loft, but the Lower Haight is still in my heart, as is the Toronado.

Still, I would love for them to install a drain in the bathroom so I don’t have to wade through the piss on the floor when I have to take a leak.

Chocolate and Newspapers and Sodas, Oh My!

Review of: Fog City News

By: Avery Glasser

Rating: 4

Read review on Judy’s Book.

Retro sodas, international magazines and one of the most extensive selections of chocolate… do you need any other reason to stop in?

Fog City News has an amazing selection of chocolates – ranging from Milka and Ritter Sport from Germany to Cote d’Or and Galler from Belgium and many many more. The selection of small batch Austrian chocolates infused with flavors such as ginger and mustard makes you take pause as you try to figure out how they would taste. Looking for a surprise for a child, get a Kinder Egg – which aren’t officially sold in the states because of the possibility of a kid choking on the toy inside.

Take care to notice where your chocolate bar is actually produced – especially the British ones like Cadbury, which in this case are made in Canada, not England.

My only gripe is their hours – only open until 6pm during the week and only open one Saturday a month…. which is bad for the sweet tooth, but good for my wallet (and waist!)