Wadda ya want?

Review of: Arinell Pizza Inc

By: Avery Glasser

Rating: 5

Read review on Judy’s Book.

So, this guy, who doesn’t look like he’s supposed to have both eyes, gives me this puddle of grease with just enough pizza underneath it to protect the paper plate.

Can I get some napkins?

He grudgingly reaches under the counter and gives me a napkin.

Can I get another napkin?

What’re you eatin, ribs?

— Kyle Baker, “Why I Hate Saturn”

In these five sentences, Kyle Baker summarized the New York pizza experience, which is faithfully recreated at Arinell.

You won’t find any fru-fru California crap here – just a perfect thin slice, heated up until the melted cheese on top releases this nuclear-orange oil that, like the color should warn you, is just waiting to slide off into your mouth, or onto your shirt, scorching everything it touches.

It’s a beautiful thing. No tofu, ginseng, pesto or chicken. No sir! Only good New York toppings like bell peppers, sausage and pepperoni. Get a slice, throw on some oregano, parmasan, garlic salt and hot pepper flakes and hope to hell that the piece of waxed paper they use instead of a plate doesn’t dissolve before you finish. Then go back, get another slice and start the process once again. If you’re a New Yorker, you’ll swear you’re almost back home for a moment.

Arinell is a definite 5 out of 5 – the only thing that could make it better is an egg cream or a Dr. Browns Black Cherry to wash it down.

And remember: “Can I get a fork and a napkin? If I give you a fork, whatta you need a napkin for?”

Fresh beer for Hippies!

Review of: Magnolia Pub & Brewery

By: Avery Glasser

Rating: 4

Read review on Judy’s Book.

As a beer geek (or as one friend constantly says, a beer sensei for reasons I have not yet figured out), having a place like Magnolia in town is a good thing. Not only do they have a fantastic selection of house made British and Belgian-style ales, but they also have some of the best Buffalo wings in the city.

However, it’s not these things which makes them tops in my book, but these three things:

1) Handpumps – I think 5 of them in total, because real ale usually tastes better without added carbonation – and they’re at the proper cellar temperature, not chilled to the level of the beer on CO2.

2) Guest taps – when they have the space, you can find beer from other local breweries or brewpubs on tap to compliment (or contrast) their own selection.

3) German ales – aside from Hefeweisen, there are only two indigeneous ales left in Germany: Klsch, from Cologne and Altbier from Dsseldorf. Not only are their interpretations dead-on (and I lived in Cologne for a while and practically lived in the brewhouses there), but they have sourced the correct glassware (stange and becher appropriately) which does add to the experience. Keeping these styles alive is aces in my book.

However, there are some downsides to Magnolia. Personally, when it comes to the music of Jerry Garcia, I’m grateful the band’s dead… and Phish can go jump in a lake, which means that the music certainly isn’t my taste.

Also, the design of the pub doesn’t dedicate nearly enough space for the bar. I’d blow out a couple of booths and expand the bar seating so you can find a place to stand on a busy weekend. The lack of space at the bar when I am at a brewpub knocks a point off of the overall rating, but the beer is definitely worth 5 stars.

And time stood still…

Review of: King Foot Submarine

By: Avery Glasser

Rating: 4

Read review on Judy’s Book.

When my wife and I left San Francisco in 1999, we were already dedicated denizens of King Foot, as they were the best place in the neighborhood to get a grinder. Every weekend, we stopped in to split a small roastbeef with pepperocini, provolone and avocado and a small meatball sub.

Fast forward to 2003 when we came back after three years on the East Coast. After moving back to the neighborhood, we stopped in and the owner quipped “long time no see… roastbeef and meatball?”

Which, not to digress, was our experience when heading back to most of the places in the Lower Haight where we used to go… Thep Phanom, the Toronado…. people saying that they hadn’t seen us for a few months when it had, in fact, been years. I’m not sure what the psychological phenomenon is, but I do think that a lack of seasons combined with a latent amount of THC floating throughout the Bay Area atmosphere retards San Franciscans’ ability to judge the passage of time. I’m sure there’s a research paper somewhere in it…

Anyway, back to the sandwiches. King Foot makes a damn good one – the roast beef, turkey, meatball and even the beef teriyaki are all excellent. If it wasn’t for the fact that the bread has slightly changed, making the smalls just a little bit smaller than before, it would be a perfect 5 star sandwich.

Though we now live closer to the ballpark than the Lower Haight, we still go there every few weeks… or is it months… I never can tell…

A Saloon for SOMA

Review of: Hotel Utah Saloon

By: Avery Glasser

Rating: 3

Read review on Judy’s Book.

It’s like that annoying cousin that you never want to visit, but once you get together, you have a great time and forget why you didn’t see each other more often.

The Hotel Utah is my office’s official bar, and for a few months last year, I was there at least three times a week before heading home or to the grocery store. It’s hard to describe the place in a way that warrants only three stars, because the individual aspects of the place should make it a four star sort of joint….

The bar is outfitted in classic dive: an aquarium that seems to only support algae as a form of sealife, stools with uneven legs… or maybe it’s just a floor that’s been worn away so that the chairs never seem to find solid footing.

The bartenders are great – they pour a stiff drink and a overfilled shot and are, in general, very nice and entertaining. Just watch out if you go there during a baseball game, because the service (and general demeanor of the bartenders) suffers, but it’s completely understandable.

The food is pretty good as well. I’ve had burgers, nachos, and other munchies there and though it wasn’t really memorable, it certainly wasn’t bad by any stretch of the word.

One point comes off because the beer selection is just getting too boring. I haven’t been there in about a few weeks, but I can tell you off the top of my head that on tap they have Stella, Pilsner Urquell, Bass, Guinness, Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, White Hawk IPA, Sam Adams and Budweiser on tap (and a few more). How can I be so sure? Because that’s what they’ve had for at least 4 months. If you have that many taps, keep them rotating. For a while, one or two of the beers was rotating, with some Speakeasy making its way into the mix, but now it seems to just be the same thing over and over again.

The other point they lose is because I’m not what the Utah wants to be when it grows up. Does it want to be a pub? A dive bar? A restaurant? A live music hall? They seem to be all of these things, which it leaves the space feeling a little discombobulated.

In Memoriam

Review of: Second Ave Deli

By: Avery Glasser

Rating: 5

Read review on Judy’s Book.

Last August, I was back in New York for a tradeshow, and I was lucky enough to head into to the Lower East Side with some colleagues for a pre-drinking nosh at the now dearly departed 2nd Ave Deli.

For the three people I brought with me, none had ever experienced real New York deli… so this is where I initiated them to real pastrami and corned beef, chicken soup with kreplach or matzo balls, rugelach… oh, the rugelach. Ed, my beer drinking buddy from Chicago who had said in the cab ride there that he never understood what was so great about New York deli had to not only take pause – he had to call his wife from the table and say that he finally understood why New Yorkers laid claim to having the best deli in the world.

When Ed wrote to me a few weeks ago to say that when he recently went back in search of a turkey sandwich, 2nd Ave was closed… possibly temporarily and probably permanently.

For such a venerable institution to close because the new owners have visions of neighborhood gentrification is an insult to all of the memories people for many generations had of this deli. In New York, and the world, this was one of the best, and now it’s gone.

Slow cooked brisket and… sake?

Review of: Memphis Minnie’s Bbq

By: Avery Glasser

Rating: 4

Read review on Judy’s Book.

So, the mac and cheese is better at the Hard Knox, as is the cornbread… but when you’re having soul food, it’s all about the side dishes. At a good BBQ joint, it’s all about the meat.

Meat is what they do well here. I personally go for a Southern Star: half a brisket sandwich and half a pulled pork sandwich. With potato salad or slaw, it’s a fantastic lunch made better only by a post meal beer across the street at the Toronado.

Here’s the tip… Wednesday is pastrami day (which they reckon might be the best east of 2nd Ave in New York). While it certainly isn’t New York deli pastrami, it’s amazingly good and addictive.

Beer, BBQ and sake (I know, I still can’t figure it out) and pretty decent sides give Minnie’s a clear 4 stars.