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Idiots and Sausages

Dateline: Rosamunde, 6:35pm
Last night, before the Oktoberfest festivities started, I went over to Rosamunde to grab some Italian Sausage Sandwiches, because we knew that if we didn't have some food in our stomachs before the drinking commenced that we would get quite drunk… quite quickly. Anyway, I volunteered to wait in line while Janet held our seats at the bar.
Fast Forward: 2 minutes
Little chicky comes into Rosamunde with a container full of french fries and asks Jeff if she could have some ketchup for her fries. Here's the conversation (as I remember it&#41 in its entirety:

  • Chicky: Excuse me, like, can I have some ketchup for my fries?
  • Jeff: What?
  • Chicky: I need some ketchup for my fries.
  • Jeff: Need? Why didn't you get some where you got those fries.
    On further analysis, these were not fries at all, but roasted potatoes from Ali Baba's Cave
  • Chicky: They didn't have any.
  • Jeff: Twenty-five cents.
  • Chicky: What?
  • Jeff: Twenty-five cents.
    You see, Jeff only has imported, German ketchup… which is expensive. Considering that she never offered to buy anything there… I think he was fully within his rights here.
  • Chicky (asking boyfriend&#41: Can I get a quarter?
  • Chicky's Girly Boyfriend: Sure (extracts quarter&#41
    Chicky then proceeds to throw the quarter into the tip jar and saunter over to the ketchup on the condiment table. Chicky then takes about half of the squeeze bottle's worth of ketchup and pours it into the top of the potato carrying vessel.
  • Chicky (turning to Jeff&#41: Thanks [then she picks up a potato, douses it in ketchup and shoves it down her gullet] Eeewww! This isn't ketchup!
  • Jeff: It is. It's curry ketchup.
    Chicky then turns around and walks out the door. Girly Boyfriend follows closely behind, chuckling.

Don't know about you, but transcribing that banter just made me smirk again. Just a note to any yuppie tourists who are "slumming it" in my neighborhood.

  1. Ali Baba's does not serve "fries" they serve roasted potatoes. In addition, the schwarmas are not "Wraps"… they are a traditional sandwich which have been made for hundreds of years… and the wrapping material is not a tortilla, it's a lavash. Not everything is a freaking yuppie "World Wrap."

  2. If you are going to ask a favor of a shop owner, buy something first! If you want some curry ketchup for your roasted potatoes, buy a few pickles or some cookies before asking… I mean come on, a shop owner has to make money somehow!

Is this really a smirk or a scowl? Smirk? Scowl? Smirk? Scowl? Smirk.

Posted in Smirks.

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