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Optical Illusion

Not only that, but there was, as there is every year, a genuine German Oompah Band who marched into the bar already playing their first song. As they played, every so often between songs they would stop and toast the crowd and everyone in the bar would yell “Prost!” Then they would drink half of their liter of beer in one gulp. Kirsten was the bartender, who we hardly ever get to see since she seems to only work the afternoon and Friday night shifts. She’s cool, with blue hair and attitude in an indirect, subtle kind of way. She offered to do an Underberg with us practically as soon as we sat down.

Scene Witnessed: Guy and girlfriend with an unidentifiable accent. The Accented Girlfriend wanted Hefeweisen, but was obsessed with what size the glass had to be. Presumably, she wanted it to be small (“Is that the smallest? The smallest?” she kept repeating.) Kirsten, holding up a Hefeweisen glass: “they come in this kind of glass.” The Accented Girlfriend: “Ooohh. Is that the –” Kirsten, interrupting her: “but I can give it to you in a regular pint glass.” Kirsten, a couple of seconds later: “Do you want any one in particular, no probably not.” accurately sizing up the cluelessness of these people who weren’t even paying attention to her question as she went to pour the Hefeweisen of her choice (there are 3 different ones on tap.) “Is this IT?” asks The Accented Girlfriend as she takes her beer. Avery told Kirsten that she should have served it to her in a shot glass.

Though the Hefeweisen glass looks larger, there’s only a difference of about 0.4 of an ounce between that glass and a regular pint glass, don’t ya know. Another person asked for a pitcher of beer, something which I don’t ever quite understand. If you get a pitcher for, say, four people, you essentially get four glasses of beer, right? So why don’t people just order 4 glasses? If there’s less than 4 people in your party, there’s a good chance that the beer in the pitcher will get all warm, and while that’s probably OK for Budweiser, it’s just a shame for a good microbrewed beer. Maybe it’s a cost-effectiveness thing, in which case they should just go to some sportsbar that accepts coupons torn off the bottom of their paper menu.

Posted in The Barfly Chronicles.

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