Archived Observation

I know that it's a documented fact that fashion trends tend to cycle every couple of decades. In the early nineties, people were sporting the classic hippie do's of the sixties. You remember the 1991 de rigeur uniform for the college set… girls wore sleeveless tie-dyed sundresses without bras and sported nasty armpit hair. Guys wore drab olive shorts and dirty beige shirts (unless they were wearing tie dyed shirts), with a bandana sticking out somewhere (hair, back pocket, sewn into the ass of their shorts to cover some massive hole). Everyone was sporting dreadlocks and reaking of patchouli oil. Hey, do you know how they make patchouli oil? They just scrape the sweat off of a dead (or sleeping or tripped out) hippie, put it in a bottle and voila! Patchouli oil… Earth's Renewable Perfume.
I never had any love for the sixties. At summer camp, during sixties day, Jason Adelburg and I dressed up as riot police. GET BACK IN LINE YOU DIRTY HIPPIE! hee hee hee… boy we scared the snot out of those tie-died hippie wannabees.
So, if you follow the style-recycling schedule, if 1991 reflected 1969 fashion… then 1998 should put us smack dab in the middle of 1976. If I didn't feel anthing special towards the sixties, I absolutely hated the seventies. Aside from the fact that I was born in 1973, nothing good ever came out of the seventies. I mean, come on… the seventies brought us disco, afros, and those wretched pants called Bellbottoms. In 1998, they're not called bellbottoms anymore… now they're called Flares.
Call 'em Flares or call 'em Bellbottoms… I just call them butt-ugly. I just can't wait until we hit the style year 1982, when neon-green tank tops and flourescent rubber bracelets come into style… now that's fashion!