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Who let the bats in?

Screech! Scree-eech! Screech! Hey! Did someone let some bats in here? Is there a pterodactyl on the loose? No, silly! It’s just the drunken greeting of the young North American Marina-style Yuppie Woman. Note the little black mini-purse which holds the condoms for later mating ritual. Observe their ability to use the shrill greeting call (which doubles as a mating call, to a lesser extent) to attract other members of their species to whichever area they have dubbed “theirs.” Territories mean nothing to them; they feel that they have free reign to go wherever their sturdy traveling vehicles take them. They are quite stupid and often unable to even identify their enemies due to their limited intelligence. They tend to anger their enemies by repeatedly shrieking and encroaching upon their space. When faced with retaliation, the Yuppie Woman will play dumb and, in times of desperation, will sometimes resort to spewing venomous attempts at insults. Though their ear-splitting call is the main way to identify this species, another identifying characteristic is their tendency to leave quarters where they have been. This is more commonly known as the 25-cents-per-drink-order-tip, the drink most commonly consumed being raspberry cider, or some other clear, mild liquid.

Posted in The Barfly Chronicles.

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