I just can't take it here anymore

Annoyances. In a cramped, overcrowded city like San Francisco, small annoyances that may not otherwise bother the average person get multiplied by the thousands of people all committing said annoyances over and over again ad nauseum. This process wears you down. It chips away at your nerves until you have but one left, and it starts chipping away at that one, too, until you feel like you Just. Can't. Take It Anymore.

It all started on Sunday when we went to Yank Sing for a dim sum brunch. First we had to witness an uber-yuppie couple — complete with jogging suits and pursed lips — violate their Chinese hot tea with Sweet 'n Low. Sweet 'n Low! In Jasmine tea! It's not even a dark, bitter tea, it's a flowery tea, and come on…enough with the artificial sweeteners in this country. How many calories can a one-inch-by-one-inch-square packet of sugar have, anyway? Walk into the kitchen where I work and you will inevitably find a lonely packet of Equal lying ripped open on the counter. 50% of the contents will be missing (gone into the coffee, presumably&#41, 25% will still be in the packet, and the other other 25% will be sprinkled all over the coffee-pot counter area. I used to pick up the packet and yell "come on, it's only zero calories!" until someone told me that even though there are no calories in a packet, you can't use the whole thing because it's just too sweet. Uh, OK. What's wrong with sugar again, exactly?

Across the room was a giant party of people with their noses in the air, all dressed up. Having "some of that neat ethnic finger food." Sending the waitress to search for forks. Drinking wine. Wine with Chinese food. White wine with Chinese food, in the late morning, no less. Message to Northern Californians: contrary to Napa and Sonoma Wine Country Propaganda, wine does not, in fact, go with everything. Do you think that in China after a hard day at work, they sit down and relax with a nice glass of Cabernet? No. Case closed.

These annoyances just begat a whole list of other annoyances, like those people who keep their umbrellas up long after the rain has stopped. Don't they see that everyone else folded their umbrellas up 20 minutes ago? Don't they see that the sky is now blue? And why can't people follow the simple, cooperative rule of "stay to the right?" If everyone walked on the right side of the street and climbed up and down the right side of the public staircase, we wouldn't have to play pedestrian chicken every five minutes trying to claim the right to the sidewalk. There would be so many fewer frazzled nerves and murderous thoughts…from me, anyway. And while we're on the subject of pedestrians, why do so many people have trouble opening doors? I've seen so many instances involving a public place, like a Walgreens, say, where one of their double doors is open, and the other one is closed. People entering as well as leaving the Walgreens will all try to fit through the one open door. Some will actually wait to enter until a whole line of people has come out of the open door and then walk through. I saw one guy, hands buried deep in his pockets, awkwardly squeeze through the one open door without taking his hands out of his pockets and somehow manage to avoid touching the closed one whatsoever. Does it just not occur to these people that the other door will *gasp* actually open? (Opening the door with great flourish doesn't teach them anything, by the way.&#41

Ah, forget about them. I feel so much better now, except for one final piece de resistance. Picture this: upon seeing my FedEx package on the counter, office workerperson informs me that FedEx guy has already come to pick up the packages for the day. "And…?" I think. She then asks, "so does it have to be dropped off somewhere now?" "Ye-e-s." I say, unbelievably. And then she actually asks "Does it really have to be there by tomorrow?" I grip the side of the desk. Does it have to be there by tomorrow? Does it HAVE to BE THERE by TOMORROW? Why do you think I put it in an overnight package, for Christ's sake?! Young and stupid or just underexperienced? Whichever…it still boggles the mind how people of this caliber actually manage to get — and keep — jobs. 

[Kind of inspired by the following line from the song Cell Block Tango from Chicago (The Musical&#41: "You know how people have these little habits that get you down?"]