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The other day I had yet another jam-packed, no-as-a-matter-of-fact-this-ISN’T-a-clown-car experience on MUNI. People were literally pressed up against one another, all trying to get home from downtown and, as usual, the people waiting at every stop along the way assumed that they would all somehow be able to fit into the 2 square feet of available space. One of the people who got on happened to be the type who absolutely has to ride in the back of the bus at any cost. I’m not talking about the shifty-eyed suspicious-looking type, either; just regular semi-yuppie looking people who bypass all the seats in the front of the bus just to be able to obsessively get to the back, which, I might add, is my least favorite section of the bus because either you have to sit sideways, facing the people across from you, or be trapped on the end of that 6-person back row seat with god knows who else.

Anyway, even though the aisle is full of people standing back to back, this person insists on squeezing through each and every pair of back-to-back-people in order to get to the rear of the bus, which you couldn’t even see at this point. He gets to me and whoever’s back was pressed up against mine and does that little excuse-me point, motioning that he wants to get through. So I move the whole available inch, and he tries to squeeze behind us, all the while wearing a backpack so full that it looks like it should belong to some junior high school nerd, all bursting at the seams with textbooks and Trapper Keepers and whatnot, which makes me even madder because if everyone on the bus with a backpack took them off their shoulders there would probably be a whole lot more room.

So, he’s trying to squeeze and of course it’s not working, as there is literally no space whatsoever to move into. He gets stuck between me and whoever was behind me, and in his obvious frustration turns around, looks at me and says all haughty-like “You don’t have to push.” Umm, OK, Mr. Nothin’s Gonna Stop Me Now…I was so shocked at the inanity of that statement that I couldn’t even manage to blurt out any of the 50 witty things I could have said, which is OK, because I didn’t think of them until 10 minutes later, anyway.

Oh. Note to people who neglect to wear deodorant because that they think that they “don’t need to:” Believe me, you need to.

Posted in Muni Chronicles.

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