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Archived Smirk

Nothing satisfies us like a good sushi dinner. Actually, I don't know if you'd even call it dinner… it's more like a three-hour sushi experience.

Case in point, Saturday night. Since it's almost Janet's birthday, we decided that it was a perfect opportunity to haul our asses out to Kabuto Sushi in the Richmond District. Kabuto is located in the middle of nowhere… and it requires that we take two buses (which in itself is a trial&#41 and budget 45 minutes for the commute just one way. Plus, it's in an apparent no cabs 'round here zone, which means that getting home takes another 45 minutes.

Still, the sushi at Kabuto is certainly worth the hassle of getting out there. For almost three hours, Janet and I ate almost everything on the fresh-fish menu, including a handful of foods that I hadn't ever had before. Highlights of the meal:

  • Mackerel nigiri (Tataki Style / slightly seared on the edges&#41… perfectly fresh, and absolutely delicious
  • Katsuo nigiri – my favorite fish… and as amazing as usual
  • Natto – fermented soybeans with a raw chicken egg yolk
  • Ume (sour plum&#41 Shiso (burdock leaf&#41 maki roll with fresh mountain potato – crisp with a marvelous texture
  • Ume (sour plum&#41 Shiso (burdock leaf&#41 maki roll with halibut – though the ingredients were almost the same as the previous roll, this roll had a very smoky taste… funny, because none of the ingredients have a smoky taste when eaten individually
  • Shi-Sha-Mo (grilled smelt with a large roe sac&#41 Te-Maki (hand roll&#41 – I didn't know that they could even make this as a hand roll. Truly amazing.

Add to this a ton of Sapporo beer, a few bottles of Kiku-Masamune sake (hot&#41 and a glass each of cold nigori sake (and the brands completely escape me now&#41, and we left the meal completely sated, and almost two hundred dollars poorer. Still, you have to splurge every once in a while… right?

Posted in Smirks.


Barfly’s Pale

As usual, Saturday Night was spent at the Toronado. Upon our 11pm arrival, were immediately faced with the typical crowd of people. So we decided to forgo pushing through the crowd so we could place our order and decided to just talk to Tad for a while.

A few minute later, Carmen (a long time regular) stopped in and immediately obtained two choice seats at the bar. About 15 minutes later, our typical seats opened up and we pounced on them.

Ian immediately greeted me with a barleywine called “GWB 1987″… I have no idea what it really was, but it tasted exactly like a tawny port. I then ordered a Hop Ottin IPA. Janet had a Framboise.

Five minutes later… Steve from Speakeasy Brewery comes in for a beer… and he asks if I had the IPA yet. My response: I’ve only had Prohibition (the IPA like beer that they brew) a couple hundred times… of course I have, Steve. He then informs me that this wasn’t the Prohibition on tap… it was their hundredth batch commemorative IPA. I immediately downed the Hop Ottin and started on this yet unnamed IPA.

The IPA, which I will call Barfly’s Pale, was the beer that could really win mainstream support from the Sierra Nevada / Anderson Valley IPA crowd. It was a extremely crisp, pale beer… so hoppy that you could practically chew the beer. I easily rate this to be as good of an IPA as my current favorite Pale Ale (Hop Ottin from Anderson Valley). Unfortunately, only 2.5 BBL (5 kegs) were produced… but at least all of the publicly available kegs are at the Toronado. Sometime while I was drinking the Barfly’s Pale, Janet ordered a Weinstephaner Lager (from one of the oldest breweries in Germany).

Though we only had two beers each (I don’t count the taste of the barleywine), we ended up not getting home until after 4am, about three hours later than we initially intended.

Still, it was worth staying late… not only did we get a chance to finally talk to Ian, we got the grand tour of the new shelves that he and Johnny built in the keg-storage closet.

Posted in The Barfly Chronicles.


Barleywine Fest

Last night we went to the Toronado to visit with Ian and have a few barleywines, since it was the barleywine festival and all. But as it typically happens during one of these big festivals, Ian was too busy serving $1.00 tasters of barleywines to these pseudo-beer-geeks (who didn’t seem to tip well at all), which made it difficult to order a round of beer, let alone talk to Ian for any length of time.

Since it was a festival, the usual cast of characters were there: the group from Magnolia Brewing, Dave and Jennifer (the owner and his girlfriend), Nico Freccia from Celebrator Beer News and a ton of people who I see at every special event. It was nice to see Stu at the bar again… he was released from the hospital last night. His hair was green, his Guinness was black and the pins sticking out of his shoulder were a bloody shade of gun metal (long story, we’ll tell you about it later).

So we spent the night talking to Todd and Tad (who showed up for a quick pint) and drinking our beers. Janet got one of those 30oz buckets of Hoegaarden White. I decided to go on a barleywine kick. My tasting notes follow:

  • Alaska Brewing Co. – Old Growth What a strange little beer. It smelled of pine trees (they brewed it with spruce tree tips), tasted of strawberries and had the kick of a small mule. A fantastic barleywine.
  • Broken Drum – Percussion Eh. Nothing special. Passable.
  • Lagunitas – Brown Shugga A favorite… candy-sweet and potent as hell.

  • Stone House Brewing – Old Mjolnir Dangerously drinkable. Dark, strong and not too sweet. I’d get this again, if I had a chance.

Since Barleywines are so strong and sweet, I needed something to wash them down, and a De Koninck did the job perfectly. I would have had a taste of the Barley and Hopps 1995 Big Head Barleywine (which closed last year due to the smoking prohibition at their brew pub) or the aged in bourbon-barrel Hair of the Dog Batch 29, but the three gallon keg ran out within a few hours of its tapping.

We’ll be back on Saturday to sample the few remaining barleywines, so expect a Sunday night update.

Posted in The Barfly Chronicles.


Tad and Nurse Kelly

In the Fun Facts and Useless Miscellaneous Trivia Department, upon finding out that Avery is a M*A*S*H fanatic, Tad challenged him to name the five characters that have been on the show from start to finish. Avery’s first answer was “Nurse Kelly.” “Nurse Kelly!” cried Tad. “She’s the crux! No one ever gets Nurse Kelly!” See, he is a fanatic. He even has a blue and white Hawaiian shirt that we refer to as “the Hawkeye shirt.”

Posted in The Barfly Chronicles.


Taking pride in what you do…

Is there anyone in the world who actually takes any sort of pride whatsoever in what they do for a living, or is everyone just showing up, punching the clock (perhaps literally?&#41 and doing half-assed work with a snotty attitude? The other day after we did the laundry, Avery and I ordered two burritos from the Mexican place which happens to deliver because they're fast and pretty good…that and we have no food in the house save for the stale remains of a box of Cocoa Krispies, half a box of Pop Tarts and a bag of egg noodles. A simple request, one would think, wouldn't one? Just two burritos, ordered from a person whose sole job it is to take down the phone order and make the burritos. We ordered two super burritos: one with pork and jalapeno peppers, and one with pork and NO jalapeno peppers. When they arrived, written in black marker on the tin foil of one of them was the word "pork." Both had pork, both had jalapeno peppers, and one had a whole bunch of lettuce and extra sour cream. Don't ask me. They just work there.

Then there's my whole annoyance with travel agents and their inability to cope with more than the occasional family vacation itinerary, even though the owner of the agency came to our office, had a meeting with our office manager and assured everyone that they would be able to handle heavy business travel. Well, my boss travels. A lot. For instance, in the month of February he will be in the office for exactly seven business days; the rest of the time he will be traveling and having meetings all over the country. He changes his travel itineraries frequently, when he is able to squeeze in another meeting or visit another client at the last minute, and if his meetings end early or are cancelled, he takes an earlier flight home. This drives the travel agent crazy. Travel Agent gets upset and starts berating my boss' flying habits and talks about him like he's only doing this to make Travel Agent's life difficult. When I ask him to find a fare lower than $2,000 to go from here to New York (booked well over a week in advance&#41 Travel Agent tells me "that's the only fare available for travel on those days" and he should "stay over the weekend" to get it a few hundred dollars cheaper. Note to Travel Agent:

  1. We send $5,000 to $10,000 worth of business your way per month.

  2. My boss is the CEO of a company, he has tons of money and billions of frequent flyer miles, he will always, without fail, want to be upgraded to First Class, and if he doesn't want to sit in the Red Carpet Club of a dingy airport for 6 hours just because his meeting ran shorter than he planned, he doesn't have to.

  3. Quit making comments about how weird my boss' travel habits are. Stop asking me why he does things at the last minute. Start doing what I ask, when I ask it, stop answering my questions with "I don't know" and acting like you know less than nothing about what you do for 8 hours a day, and for Christ's sake, could you please get me a fare better than the one I get just by logging on to Expedia?

And cold-calling salespeople, of course, are the most annoying of all. Especially the bad ones. Witness the conversation I had when I picked up the phone the other day:

As I pick up the phone to answer it, I hear someone talking, which to me is always a bad sign. A woman's voice says "well, there's someone on the phone" as she presumably hands it to someone else. A man comes on the line and says "Hello?"

Me: "Hello?" (I'm thinking that this will end badly.&#41
Salesguy: "Who am I speaking with?" (Now I know this will end badly.&#41
Me: "This is Janet."
Salesguy: "Janice?"
Me: "Jan -ET."
Salesguy: "I'm sorry, I'm still not getting it?"
Me: "J-A-N-E-T." (Really badly.&#41
Salesguy: "Oh, Janet. Do you ever go by 'Jan'?
Me: (wondering if this guy is a stalker or a wacko or something&#41 "Noooo…"
Creepy Salesguy: "That's a pretty name. Well, Janice, are you the buyer for the computer printer ribbons in your office?"
Me: "No." (Who the hell still uses printers with RIBBONS?&#41
Creepy Salesguy: "Well, could you tell me the person who does?" (No self-respecting office in 1999, that's for sure.&#41
Me: "Let me find that out for you." (Yeah, right.&#41
Creepy Salesguy: Decides that a minute-and-a-half of on-hold music is enough for him and hangs up.

Well, what do you expect when you have your mother dial the phone number for you? 

Posted in Scowls.


Archived Smirk

I'm one of those people who is really skeptical when they try to screw with the classics. Let's take a look at all of the lousy attempts that people have made while trying to improve upon the classics:

  • New Coke
  • Flubber with Robin Williams
  • The New Filet o' Fish, shakes and ice cream at McDonalds
  • The New Odwalla formulas that avoid apple juice (remember that whole kids dying due to their parents serving then $4.00 bottles of unpasteruized apple juice&#41?
  • The Reeses Crunchy Peanut Butter Cups, Caramel Peanut Butter Cups and Cookie Peanut Butter Cups

So, when I saw the ads for the new M&M Crispy, I figured oh great… another loser M&M variant. You have to realize, I grew up when there were two kinds of M&Ms: Plain and Peanut. Then they brought in the Mint M&Ms… uh, disgusting. Then they tried the M&M Almond, which was nowhere as nice as a Jordan Almond. Finally, they released the M&M Peanut Butter… nice try, but it isn't nearly as good as a Reeses Pieces.

Anyway, Monday night when we went to do laundry, Janet and I decided to grab a pack of M&M Crispy to eat at the laundromat. We opened the packs up… and tried the first ones. Guess what… they were crispy. The center is filled with rice-crispy style puffed rice, and covered with just enough chocolate to make it taste good, but not overly sweet. I think that the crispy M&Ms are better than even the plain or peanut varieties. Add the fact that they are relatively low in calories and fats, and I have a new favorite domestic candy. Yum.

I wonder if this means that we need to do a M&M Comparison page…

[Avery/Janet] 2/7000000 Yesterday, Avery talked about the difference between Kit Kat candy bars. Now, we present for your reading pleasure… The Kit Kat Comparison Page.

Posted in Smirks.