Scowl, Nu?

Well, Janet pretty much summed up the night in a nutshell. Yuppies asking for Bass Ale (did you see Bass on the list?) were paired up with yuppies asking for a Sierra Nevada. As you know, I get extremely vocal when someone orders a “Sierra Nevada” from the bartender. You see, at a typical bar, they only serve one Sierra Nevada beer: their Pale Ale, which is the most famous beer made by Sierra Nevada… just like most bars only have one Anchor beer: their steam beer. However, Sierra Nevada makes around 8 different beers and Anchor regularly produces 5 beers. The Toronado always has at least 2 types of Anchor and 2 or 3 different varieties of Sierra Nevada on tap… and for the last few months, they have not had the Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.

However, every time I am at the Toronado, someone invariably orders a Sierra Nevada, to which the bartender responds “which one? we have two…” This usually gets the following response: Which one is the popular one, to which the bartender replies “The Pale Ale, which we don’t have.” Then the customer then usually asks “I don’t know any of these other beers… what beer do you like?”

Talk about an asinine question. I mean, come on. Ask Janet what her favorite beer is, and she would probably say Guinness. Ask me, and I would say Speakeasy Untouchable Lager. Ian, the Bartender would say Anchor Liberty Ale. Crab, the barfly would say Boont Amber. Asking what someone likes has no bearing on if you will like the beer. The question back usually is “What kind of beer do you normally drink” which then gives the bartender enough information to pick a beer that is to their tastes.

If you ask the average twenty-something what sort of wines they like, they can usually rattle off four or five varietals that they prefer, and they usually can pick a favorite winery out of a list at a restaurant. Please tell me why it is so hard for these people to make a decision at a beer bar. If you decide to make a trek out to a beer bar, why don’t you read up on the different beer varieties out there (just like you would before your first trip to the Wine Country)?

Only an ignorant asshole would ever walk into a restaurant and order a Gallo, Ravenswood or a Fetzer, but for some reason, they find it completely acceptable to walk into a bar and request a Sierra Nevada, Anchor or Anderson Valley.

I know I can be ruthless to newcomers at the Toronado, but just once I would like to see a yuppie come in and ask a bartender “I usually drink light lagers at home, but I enjoy beers like Pilsner Urquell and I also enjoy an occasional Sierra Nevada Pale Ale… what would you recommend?” That shows that he (or she) knows what he (or she) likes, and gives the bartender enough information to work off of. Would you walk into a wine bar and ask the sommelier “I like Beaulieu Vineyards and Turning Leaf, what do you recommend?” Of course not. You named brands, not wines. Both make chardonnays, cabernets and a whole selection of similar wines. The same goes if you ask “I like Anderson Valley and Sierra Nevada, what for you recommend?” Ask me that, and you could end up with a porter, pale ale, or a barleywine (which both breweries make).

But enough of me complaining. What was initially scheduled to be two or three beers became four beers due to the unexpected arrival of Birthday Boy Paul and his sister, Jocelyn. They arrived as we were finishing our last beers (I had a Magnolia Prescription Pale, an Anderson Valley Hop Ottin IPA and a Duvel while Janet had a pair of Guinnesses), which meant that Janet and I needed another beer so we didn’t run out before Paul finished his De Koninck. We decided to get a bottle of Kasteel Brown, and we split it with Ian, the bartender.

What was supposed to be a two hour trip to the bar ended at 1:45 am… it was (all in all) an enjoyable night, but relatively boring. Well, not boring… just sort of bleh. I really hope that something interesting happens there some time soon.

After work yesterday, Janet and I decided to make a quick trip off to the Toronado as a way to kick off the weekend.

I’d like to say that it was an amazingly fun time, or that something even vaguely interesting happened, but unfortunately, nothing really happened. Still, we decided to stay around for about 2 and a half hours, drinking beer and chatting with the regulars. Again, what did we talk about? Nothing really interesting. Jimi D (the chef for the Belgian Beer Festival) came by and said “Hi“… and Steve Miner (barback/bartender) had an Underberg with us… and that’s about it for casual conversation at the bar yesterday.

In business news, Jeff, the owner of Rosamunde Sausage Grill, came over to discuss a new sign for the front window. The design that I pitched looks like the plan we’re going to go with: a light blue lexan sign with dye-sublimated text listing all of the sausages with a space where he can write the daily specials in a grease pencil. Can you picture it in your mind? Yes? No? Don’t care?

For those keeping track of the beers that we consumed yesterday: Avery had a Speakeasy Big Daddy IPA (which used to be called the Anniversary IPA), an Anchor Liberty Ale and a Moonlight Twist of Fate Bitter (on hand pump) while Janet stuck with a pair of Liberty Ales. Truly, a unremarkable entry for an unremarkable afternoon.

Yeah, I know… I’m technically still in training, but this weekend we had a need to go to the Toronado.

Re-reading that sentence, I think that I am communicating the wrong message. We didn’t need to go to the Toronado like some people need

a beer or anything like that. We needed a place to get together with Annie, a long time friend from the North East who is leaving Thursday for her new job (and new life) in Ney York City.

Since it was her last weekend and she had never been to the Toronado, we all decided to get together Friday night after we got out of the musical RENT at the Golden Gate Theater (which is in the most disgusting neighborhood in the city… aside from the Yuppie Habitat Marina) for a beer.

We got there at 11:15, about fifteen minutes before we were scheduled to meet Annie… so we squeezed in close to the bar and placed our order with Kirsten, the blue-haired bartender. She promptly returned with a Speakeasy Big Daddy IPA for me, a Anchor Liberty Ale for Janet and a round of Underbergs for the three of us. A few minutes later, we settled into an empty area near the end of the bar and waited for Annie.

She arrived at the Toronado and asked me for a beer suggestion (Weinstephaner Lager)… but the beer is really the most insignificant part of the evening. Suffice it to say that I had a Speakeasy Prohibition and a Meteor Pils while Janet decided to have another Liberty Ale (which Annie also had as her second and final beer). The important part of the night was spending a couple of hours with a friend that we probably won’t see again for a long time. We talked until Johnny called Last Call at 1:45… which is when we left, said goodbye and watched Annie drive off in her yellow cab.

Saturday was a stressful day for me. All I could think of is having to weigh in for Golden Gloves on Sunday morning… so even though it was going to end up breaking my diet for a second night in a row, we decided to go to the Toronado so I could hang out with friends and have a pint, on the theory that it would help me get some sleep.

So, after dinner, we went over to the Toronado, making it there around 9pm. For some reason, the bar was not as crowded as usual… and we were able to get a pair of seats by the bar immediately.

Now, you have to remember that Janet and I used to go to the Toronado at least once a week… but since I have been in training, I have only been there two other times this month, and both times were quick in-and-out visits… so we never got a chance to talk to Ian. When he noticed us here, his face immediately lit up, and he took our orders. Janet decided to stick with the Liberty Ale (of which she would have two that night), while I started the night off with a pint of the Moonlight Irish I Was A Schtout. The stout was fantastic, dry and flavorful without a strong licorice taste like most American stouts tend to have. Not my favorite (Speakeasy Satchmo Stout), but damn close.

We spent the night talking with Ian and Johnny while exchanging jokes with Tad (the bouncer). It was so nice being back at the Toronado… I just can’t explain what it was like to be somewhere familiar with the locals who have become friends and the bartenders who tend to feel like family. *sigh*

Somewhere near 10pm I ordered my second beer, a Moylan’s Kiltlifter… a nice 60 shilling Scotch Ale… and though it didn’t get the blood flowing (and hormones raging) as its name would imply, it was a great beer never-the-less. Janet ordered her second Liberty at this time. As we were working on our second beers, Crab (a regular) came by and invited us to the taping of next week’s episode of Bachelor Chef, his cable-access cooking show. We accepted the offer and quickly finished our beers. The night ended early with us heading home around 11:10 pm.

Still, as relaxed as I was at the Toronado, the panic attack over weighing in kicked in on schedule (as it had for the last few nights) and I spent another night staring at the ceiling.

Additionally: Special Comic Artist Sighting Saturday night: Keith Knight (of “the K Chronicles“) seen in our very own Toronado! I only saw the back of his head as he was leaving. Eeee!

I don’t know if the beginning of this chronicle update counts as a Barfly entry… but let’s see where this goes, ok?

Yesterday, Janet and I tried to get lottery tickets to Rent. Before every showing, there is a drawing for 36 tickets for the first two rows of the orchestra… and since we had nothing to do, we decided to throw our names in the pot to see if we could get a couple of $20 tickets for the show.

Needless to say, we lost.

Sad and dejected, we decided to have a good dinner to console ourselves. Since it was after 7pm at that time, we knew that every restaurant would have about a 45 minute wait. We weighed our options. On one hand, we had Thep Phanom, our favorite Thai Restaurant… but they would be crowded to the point where waiting would be physically uncomfortable because it is so cramped in there. Then we had Chow, an eclectic restaurant that we loved the one time we went there… it would be a good choice and is easy to get to… but we’d have to wait outside, and if the line was too long, there was nowhere else in the area that we’d want to go to.

Our final option, and the restaurant that we eventually chose, was Suppenkuche. Suppenkuche is a great German restaurant in Hayes Valley. Sure, we figured an hour wait was to be expected, but since this meant that we’d be forced to spend an hour at the bar drinking fresh German beers, we weren’t too concerned when we’d get seated.

Janet started (and stuck) with her favorite: Spaten Helles, a light lager reminiscent of a pilsner. I started with a Weltenburger Helles, my all time favorite Helles style beer. I then moved quickly onto the brand-new Fransiskaner Dunkel Weiss Bier, a dark hefe-weisen. Suppenkuche just got it in a few days earlier, and I was one of the first to sample it. What a beer… wheaty yet sweet… like a piece of whole-wheat toast with honey. It went well with the Lox and Latkes (potato pancakes) that we started with for our appetizer.

Janet moved onto a second Spaten Helles while I ordered a Hacker-Pschorr Helles. It was a perfect compliment to the Schweinbraten (pork loin) that I had for dinner, and it didn’t weigh me down as much as another dunkelweisen would.

The desserts were too good to pass up. Janet had a Latte and some Apple Strudel. I decided to have the black forest cake and a Kostritzer Blackbeer. Aah, Kostritzer… jet black with a crisp taste and a roasted sort of sweetness. A perfect end to a great meal.

Fifteen minutes later, we’re coming into the Toronado for what was supposed to be a quick beer. We had our seats almost instantly, and we started in on our first rounds. Janet broke with tradition and decided to have an Anderson Valley Poleeko Gold, which was on tap for the Anderson Valley night last Thursday (the one drawback to my Cleveland trip). I had their new brown beer, the Bootjack Brown, which was fantastic but way

to heavy after the German food.

Ian told us that Jennifer, the owner’s girlfriend, was having her birthday in the back room… so I decided to pay my respects on my way to the bathroom. She invited us back and I told her that we would stop in before leaving for the night.

Upon my return to the table, I ordered a Weinstephaner Lager… a pale-gold beer similar to the Weltenburger Helles that I had at Suppenkuche. The crowd at the bar started to get thicker and more annoying. Suddenly it didn’t seem to be that bad of an idea to head back to the private party. We finished our beers and headed back.

The party was jumping, and all of the regulars were there… Jeff from the sausage shop, Crab, Jimi D the chef, Dave (the owner) and a whole crew of familiar faces were drinking free Liberty Ale and having a hell of a good time. Five minutes turned into ten minutes turned into an hour or so of us talking to Jeff and Dave. We left a little after midnight with an assurance to Jeff that we’d return this morning to evaluate his new Corned Beef sandwich (which is the best one that I’ve had in San Francisco).

Because I’m in intensive boxing training as I prepare for Golden Gloves at the end of this month, I have had to change my diet: more protein, less starches, more greens and no beer. The first three dietary changes were easy, but the removal of beer from my diet was a challenge.

Honestly, I have been pretty good about my self-imposed prohibition… I can count the number of beers that I have had in the last 3 weeks on a hand and a half. But this weekend, I decided to take a one-night break from my dry spell and mosey on into the Toronado for a quick drink.

We made it to the bar Saturday night around 10pm and sidled up to the bar. Unfortunately, the ten-thousand other people packed into the place made it impossible to get a seat. Still, within a few minutes we were able to find a couple of seats and started in on our first round. Janet had a Hoegaarden White, while I decided that if I was only gong to have one or two beers that I wanted to have an Aventinus. That led to a pair of Underbergs and an invite to Johnny’s (the bartender) birthday party.

The place was filled to the brim with insensitive yuppies. One snuck in a can of the Silver Tampon (that’s Coors Light for all of y’all out there). Another pair decided to sit at the bar for an hour or so without even ordering a drink. A third asked Tad if he was their server. Assholes. All of them.

Fast forward 30 minutes. The Aventinus was working its magic and I was ready for my second (and final) beer of the night. Janet and I both selected the Meteor Pils, a light Pilsner style beer from Meteor Brewing in Belgium. The only difference was that Janet only ordered a half-liter, while I decided to make my second beer a big one and had a whole liter.

It was exactly what I was looking for… light and malty with no significant hop taste.

Sadly, my night of debauchery ended at 12:30, and we were home and asleep before last call.