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I don't need to see your high beams… Flight Attendant Fashion

I don't need to see your high beams… Flight Attendant Fashion
I fly. Constantly. Ok, not constantly, but I'm traveling on average once a month either for business or pleasure. My last trip, to Cleveland, was on America West and United. This trip to Las Vegas was flown solely on United Shuttle.

So, what's the difference between United and United Shuttle? The food is the same… crappy "safari mix" and sodas. The planes are the same (primarily Boeing 727 and 737 aircraft, the "no leg room, no storage space, really loud engines" planes that make up the majority of the 1-4 hour flights in this country&#41. My premier card works on both airlines, so I can board before the rest of the sardines rushing to get on the plane. So, really, what's the difference?

It's the outfits. Call me crazy, but there's something settling when you walk on an airline to see a steward or stewardess in a starched white shirt, tie and dark blue slacks (or skirts&#41 … which is the de rigeur outfit of the United flight attendant. They look professional, like a police officer or at least a garage attendant. When I see them, I think "Hey, if there's any trouble, they're trained on what to do."

United Shuttle, however, opted not to have its attendants wear the well-tailored quasi-militaristic outfits, and instead decided to outfit their flight attendants in monogrammed polo shirts, dockers and sneakers. I walked onto the plane and instead of thinking "I feel safe with these people in charge" I thought "We're being served by camp counselors??"

I dress comfortably when I'm at the office, opting for dockers and button down shirts. But still, when I go in front of a customer, I'm in a suit and tie. I try to represent my company as professionally as possible. I believe that to a point, you are what you wear. If I was in front of a customer wearing jeans and a Toronado T-shirt, I would behave more casually… and if I was wearing a suit and tie at the Toronado, I'd probably be so stick-in-the-mud that the bartenders would ask if they could remove the stick out of my ass before I ordered my second round. When people dress casually at work, they tend to be casual towards the service they give their clients.

So, here I am on the plane, watching this counselor-esque flight attendant… in her white polo-shirt with not only her blue dockers and scuffed white sneakers, but a pair of head-lights sticking out from under her bra.

I certainly don't know what was so exciting about the flight… 45 minutes from take-off to landing, and I could barely stay awake, but as I left, here was cheery Counselor Sunshine saying buh-bye and pointing the way out of the fuselage with her erect nipples.

Now I know what they mean by "Come fly the friendly skies…"

Posted in Observations.

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